How do I repair harm as a leader?

Leadership means disappointing people at the rate they can stand. But sadly, at some point in your work, you are likely to cause someone harm. Despite our best efforts, it is inevitable that we let each other down in relationship–but it also means we can attempt to repair within our relationships.

If you realize you’ve caused harm as a spiritual innovator, the most important first step is to slow down and take responsibility. Begin by naming what happened clearly and without defensiveness—people need to know you see the impact of your actions, not just your intentions. Offer a sincere apology, not to try and erase the pain but to acknowledge it, and be prepared to listen deeply to those who were hurt. 

To repair also means committing to change: asking what’s needed, taking concrete steps to rebuild trust, and creating safeguards so the harm isn’t repeated. Remember, accountability is not about shame—it’s about honoring the dignity of others and showing that your leadership is grounded in integrity and care.

‍

Tools to help you repair harm

• This interview with Ruby Sales is a powerful exploration of the question, “Where does it hurt?”
• Howard Zehr’s The Little Book of Restorative Justice introduces repairing harm by centering healing, accountability, and restored relationships.
• This article from the Harvard Business Review, How to Own Up to Your Mistakes as a Leader, offers practical guidance for acknowledging mistakes with humility and integrity.
• Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu wrote and spoke about forgiveness extensively. Here’s a good introduction to their approach to repairing harm.