Finding a mentor often starts with paying attention to the people whose wisdom you admire, even if they work in a different context than yours. Intergenerational relationships can be especially rich, offering perspective that comes from years of experience navigating challenges and change. Someone who has led a nonprofit, built a business, or guided a community—even outside your specific spiritual niche—may have insights that help you avoid pitfalls and grow with integrity. Look for people who embody the values you want to lead with, and don’t underestimate how much their story can illuminate your own path.
Most people are more willing to mentor than you think—they just need to be asked. Don’t be shy! Reach out, share why you admire them, and ask if they’d be open to a conversation. Remember, mentorship doesn’t have to be forever: it might be a single coffee, a few calls, or a relationship that lasts years. All forms of mentorship are valid and valuable. Maybe you’re looking for more of an Elder or even a spiritual director or some other relationship of support and guidance. Be brave in reaching out. The worst thing that can happen is they say no, but the best thing could be a connection that changes the course of your work and your life.
Starting Exercise: Finding A Mentor
Nadia Bolz-Weber, a Lutheran spiritual innovator in the US, had a remarkable relationship with her bishop, Jim Gonia. Read their story here and reflect on the following questions as you consider who might become a mentor in your life:
Support
How did Jim support Nadia?
What kind of relational support do you find yourself needing?
Accountability
How did Jim hold Nadia accountable?
When have you experienced healthy accountability? Or what might that look like?
Blessing
How did Jim bless Nadia’s ministry?
Who blesses your leadership? How?
Other resources on mentoring
Co-Generate strengthens intergenerational relationships with a host of programs and resources.
Or, lean into your own networks of trust. As the people you trust who they would recommend. Once you find someone you’re open to speaking with, start with a simple one-off conversation. Then, if that goes well, mutually commit for a short-to-medium term series of conversations, such as once a month for 3-4 months. This keeps giving you both an opportunity to re-commit to being together, or allowing the conversation to close with clarity and kindness.
The Center for Action and Contemplation’s Living School offers deep, two-year immersive formation in Christian contemplative wisdom and community, integrating study, spiritual practice, and social engagement to cultivate prophetic love and service
